Being an LGBTQ Wedding Photographer: My Experience in the Industry

lesbian wedding photographer

“One of the Best LGBT photographers documenting our community” – Everyqueer.com

Updated October 5, 2023:

This was originally posted in 2011, before marriage equality passed nationwide. Click here to see all the LGBTQ weddings I’ve shot since then!

I moved to New York City in 2010 with one goal: make a living doing what I love.

With that said, I never imagined myself in the wedding industry. I thought of myself as a documentary and travel photographer, and I was known among friends as a party photographer. Though I loved taking photos, I wasn’t confident that I could turn those passions into a career, especially in New York City where competition was so fierce.

Then one day a friend said to me, “if I ever get married, I want you to be my wedding photographer.”

I’ll be honest, I thought wedding photography was cliche and boring. I even slightly resented marriage as an institution. At the time, I didn’t even have the right to get married…not in my home state of Wisconsin or in New York, my state of residence. So, I wasn’t jumping up and down at the idea of giving up my weekends during the most beautiful seasons of the year to “photograph straight weddings.” Furthermore, I feared that if I pursued my own wedding photography business, I would be forced to compromise or “tone down” myself and/or my values to get bookings. At best, entering the wedding industry felt like a financial risk and personal contradiction. At worst, I was entering a 90 billion dollar industry from which I was and am historically and legally excluded.

But as the momentum of the New York Marriage Amendment grew, I became excited. Not only would it mean marriage equality in New York, it would also present a new market to whom I’d strongly appeal. It provided a new career option related to equality, justice, and my love of photography.

What transformed my ambivalence about wedding photography into a passion for it? Allow me to backtrack. It actually wasn’t the passage of the NY Marriage Amendment. To my surprise, it was the discovery, very early on, that I am completely in love with wedding photography! Who knew?! What began as quest to not be broke and unemployed in New York City, metamorphosed into a career of my dreams.

I got my start in the industry after researching and cold emailing over 50 top wedding photographers in NYC. As a result, I started working with one of the best wedding photographers in world (according to Rangefinder and American Photo Magazine), Ryan Brenizer. Ryan became not only a mentor, but a friend whose love for wedding photography was contagious. Our work approach together was upbeat, positive, in the moment, and completely focused on what was happening at each wedding. As I got deeper into it, new ways of seeing weddings, tradition, and ceremony started to unfold for me. What I once thought was cliché and boring became some of the most challenging, meaningful work of my life. What I thought was in opposition to my roots as documentary, travel, and cultural photographer proved intimately linked to it. Wedding photography, to my surprise, pushed me as an artist. I felt a sense of urgency to create photos that stood out, and in doing so, everything in my career fell into place.

Yet, my internal conflict about being a “lesbian wedding photographer” remained; there was still something about it that felt painfully ironic. But as the year unfolded and my business began to grow, I found that, of course I wouldn’t have to compromise myself or give up my values; in fact, my clients, both queer AND straight value me because of them. There ARE people out there who will book me because they love my work and respect me and my business. And then, the NY marriage amendment passed. The irony and conflict began to dissipate, as I realized just how cool it is to be working in the industry during this historic time.

gay wedding photographer

I was shooting a wedding with Ryan when the NY Marriage Amendment passed. It also happened to be Pride weekend, which I spent shooting three weddings. While Ryan and I sloshed around on a barn floor in two inches of wine, my friend was sending me minute-by-minute updates on the vote.

We were having so much fun shooting this wedding that I had stopped checking my phone until Ryan asked, “Did it pass?!” I rushed to check my phone, and saw that I had one unread message: “It passed!!!!!!” I shouted the news to Ryan, and after we high-fived and hugged, he took this picture of me, in tears.

There was a lesbian couple at the wedding, and I went up to them and said, “It passed! New York just legalized gay marriage!!” They looked me and said, “What, just now? Are you serious!?” I showed them the text and they hugged and kissed in celebration. As Ryan described on his blog, “the news spread like wildfire, fueling the flame of an already wildly raucous reception.”

This is a moment I will never forget. There is something amazing about witnessing a couple arrive at their friend’s wedding unable to get married and leaving knowing they now could. Ryan hit it right on the nose in his blog post saying, “there’s an extra emotional intensity when shooting an LGBTQ wedding… you are photographing people who grew up thinking that this whole wedding thing could never happen for them. That all the connection, the public displays, the meaningful vows, the celebrations, everything I adore about weddings — these things could only happen to other people. And then, finally, the doors opened to them.”

Though many of my friends were out enjoying pride weekend at historic spots like Stonewall Inn and Christopher St. when the news broke, I was photographing an exceptionally beautiful wedding, bonding with two strangers over one shared fact: the three of us now had the right marry just like everyone else in the room with us. My ambivalence and conflict towards wedding photography came full circle in this moment, as I stood there thinking, “there’s no place I’d rather be.”

I am not one of those wedding photographers who entered the industry because I’ve spent my whole life planning my dream wedding. Growing up, marriage was not an option for me, and that’s part of why I never saw wedding photography as career option. But I love it. There is nothing more satisfying than opening an email from a client that says, “Please say you are available on October 15th. Your photography is exactly how I’ve always wanted my wedding to be seen and remembered.”

My work focuses on candid connections and interactions between people. It is a commentary and documentation of human expression and the human experience in all its beauty, struggle, bravery, and mystery. All my work aims to reflect the way in which friendship, love, and monumental (as well as the seemingly insignificant) events shape our lives as individuals, families, and communities. But above all, it is about the moment. The then and there, the here and now. I was called to this industry to capture these moments.

This is why I do what I do and it has nothing to do with being gay or the institution of marriage. And yet, I’ve discovered in it, a place for me, and an opportunity (like writing this blog post) to use my involvement in the industry as point of discussion, debate, and a reminder of the ongoing struggle that exists in our country and around the world for equality and justice. In doing so, I get to “be true myself,” be a photographer, and be an advocate…a combination I never imagined I’d be attributing to wedding photography.

This amendment is profoundly historic and powerful for LGBTQ couples who have long awaited their wedding day. It brings tears to my eyes to know that the next generation will be living in a more just world. Yet I want to also take this chance to gently remind my readers that because same sex-marriage is not legal at a federal level, same-sex couples in NY still cannot file a joint federal tax return, share retirement benefits, and shield each others’ assets from estate taxes, among many other federal benefits. As I continue forward with my career in the wedding industry, I also look forward the evolution of the both the institution and the industry, as the concept and traditions of marriage become more inclusive.

Thank you all for reading, thank you for your support, and I hope to talk to you soon about your upcoming wedding… no matter who you are and whom you love! Finally, I am a word-of-mouth business. In fact, I booked my first wedding ever by standing on the sidewalk during the 2010 pride parade, holding a sign that said “gay wedding photographer.” I count on people like you to make my living. Please comment, tweet, share, and recommend this post and my work if you like what you see and think your friends might, too. -Erica Camille

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8 Comments

  1. Erica, this is an amazing read and an even better story. I am happy you’ve found “a place” and a deeper connection to wedding photography. I couldn’t agree more with the profound impact the amendment will have in shaping the future and understanding of a wedding. Here’s to a successful career and many, many more years of happiness. All the best, my friend.

  2. Great article Erica, great insight to gay weddings. I’m meeting my first gay couple as a straight photographer this week. As a straight man comfortable with gay friends I still worry about potential different expectations, but you’ve put these to bed. It’s 2 guys in love
    Paul

  3. Love this blog post!!! I’m also a gay wedding photographer, I’m 22. I definitely agree with you on the part about later generations are lucky to be living in a more just world. I’m just really glad it’s moving in the right direction and more people are becoming accepted of gay marriage. Rock on world, and best wishes to you, Erica!

  4. What an awesome post, Erica. My wife rarely reads to the end of any article she finds on the web. She sent me a message this morning going on and on about your blogpost … and about how she read to the end. I knew it had to be special.

    We’re lesbian wedding photographers, too, and we look forward to the day when same-sex weddings are legal in every state, including Georgia. In the meantime, we continue to fight the battle. Most recently as a part of the call for marriage equality at our incredibly liberal Baptist Church. (Yes, I said Baptist!)

    Enjoy all your weddings and if when we’re in New York again, we’ll look you up.

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