Queer Zen Buddhist Wedding at Dai Bosatsu Catskills

How they Met
“We met on the internet, had an awkward first date at the Brooklyn Museum (with several awkward dates to follow), but over time, connected deeply on similar childhood experiences, shared values, and a desire to tackle a lot of the hard stuff, together.”

Their Journey to Buddhism
“Speaking of the hard stuff! Crys first started attending a weekly sit at Dai Bosatsu Zendo’s NYC zendo, Shobo-ji, and invited me to attend. What started as a way to calm anxiety and find deeper meaning among the day-to-day evolved into a powerful way of looking at life and the “self.” Soon after, we started visiting Dai Bosatsu Zendo, a Zen Buddhist monastery in the Catskills. It had a deep impact on our relationship as we both experienced profound transformations as we tapped into our “beginner’s minds.”

Choosing the venue
“Soon after our engagement, we were at DBZ for a Samu weekend (a volunteer work weekend). Upon learning of our engagement, a few of the resident monks started hinting at DBZ as a potential wedding venue, with a “You know we do weddings here, yes?” wink-and-a-nod style. It was a no-brainer for us — the practice gave us so much meaning and our weekends at DBZ really brought us together as a couple. It didn’t hurt that the environment is absolutely breathtaking. We knew that we wanted to compliment our peaceful Zen Buddhist ceremony and dinner with an appalling dance party, which we obviously needed to take elsewhere. After searching for a reception venue that was somewhat close to the rather remote monastery and coming up empty, a friend forwarded us an article about new establishments in the Catskills — one of which was the Arnold House in Livingston Manor, which was down the mountain from the monastery. We loved its amazing décor and its vintage style enabled us to build out an awesome Catskills Prom-themed reception, reminiscent of Dirty Dancing. And there was a lot of dirty dancing happening.”

How Crys Proposed
“We just decided to get married. It was a decision we made together. I made a joke about staking my claim on Crys and Crys said, “Fine, lets get rings then.” And we did. The next day we walked into Catbird, a jewelry store in Brooklyn, and we each picked out a ring. Then we got tacos. It was a nice day.”