Being an LGBTQ Wedding Photographer: My Real Story
From Outsider to Insider: Making My Own Path in an Industry that Excluded Me
“One of the Best LGBTQ photographers documenting our community” – Everyqueer.com
How I Built My Dream Career in an Industry That Excluded Me
Updated July 3rd, 2025: This was originally posted in 2011, before marriage equality passed nationwide. Click here to see all the LGBTQ weddings I’ve shot since then!
I moved to NYC in 2010 with one goal: make a living doing what I love.
When I landed in New York, I didn’t have a plan. I had a deep love for photography, a passion for equality, and the drive to figure it out. At the time, I saw myself as a documentary and travel photographer, known among friends for capturing underground scenes, not formal traditions.
Weddings? That wasn’t even on my radar. The truth is, I wasn’t sure I could make a career out of photography—especially in New York, where the creative scene is saturated and competitive. But then something shifted.
The Reluctant Beginning
I’ll be honest: I thought wedding photography was cliché and boring. At the time, I didn’t even have the right to get married—not in my home state of Wisconsin, and not in New York, where I was living. The idea of giving up every weekend during the best seasons of the year to photograph strangers’ straight weddings? It wasn’t exactly a dream.
I feared that pursuing wedding photography would mean compromising my values or toning down who I was just to get booked. At best, it seemed like a financial risk. At worst, I was entering a $90 billion industry that had historically excluded people like me.
But then something shifted. One day, a friend said, “If I ever get married, I want you to be my wedding photographer.”
At first, I laughed it off. But the idea planted a seed.
The Education
I got my start by cold-emailing over 50 top photographers in NYC, hoping to learn anything I could. That led me to working with Ryan Brenizer, one of the best in the industry. His passion was contagious. Our style was immersive and real—rooted in the actual experience of the day.
And then I discovered: weddings weren’t what I expected.
They were wild. Emotional. Beautiful. Messy. They were human.
What I once saw as cliché became deeply meaningful. Wedding photography challenged me as an artist, reconnected me to my documentary roots, and pushed me to create images that matter. Being on the ground, documenting the emotion and chaos and love? It lit me up.
The Night Everything Changed
I was second shooting a wedding with my mentor and friend, Ryan Brenizer, on a warm June weekend, Pride weekend in fact, when the New York Marriage Amendment passed.
It was one of my busiest weekends ever, with three weddings in just a few days. While Ryan and I were sloshing through two inches of spilled wine on the floor of a barn reception, my phone kept buzzing with updates from a friend glued to the New York state senate vote.
Caught up in the joy and chaos of the wedding, I hadn’t checked my phone in a while. Then Ryan turned to me mid-dance floor shot and asked, “Did it pass?!”
I scrambled to look. One unread message: “It passed!!!!!!”
I shouted the news to Ryan. We high-fived. We hugged. And then he did what photographers do—he took a picture of me in tears.
Just minutes later, I spotted a lesbian couple on the dance floor. I rushed over and said, “It passed! New York just legalized gay marriage!”
They looked at me in disbelief. “What, just now? Are you serious?!”
I showed them the text. They hugged. They kissed. Celebration erupted.
As Ryan wrote on his blog, “The news spread like wildfire, fueling the flame of an already wildly raucous reception.”
There is something unforgettable about watching two people arrive at a wedding unable to marry… and leave knowing they now could.
The Transformation
That night, my entire relationship to wedding photography transformed.
I didn’t grow up dreaming of weddings. I grew up knowing I wasn’t allowed to have one. But that night made everything clear: I didn’t need to compromise—I belonged here.
Ryan said it best: “There’s an extra emotional intensity when shooting an LGBTQ wedding… you are photographing people who grew up thinking that this whole wedding thing could never happen for them… and then, finally, the doors opened to them.”
What started as a way to pay the bills became a calling. I realized I didn’t have to leave behind my documentary instincts or my love for authentic moments. I could bring all of that into the world of weddings—and build a business that reflects who I am and what I care about.
The more I brought myself to the work—my values, my lived experience, my queerness—the more my business grew. Clients, queer and straight, weren’t just okay with it—they sought me out because of it.
What This Work Means
I’ve now photographed hundreds of weddings across NYC, the U.S., and Southeast Asia. Each one a unique story. Each one a chance to witness and document love in its raw, real form.
My work has always centered on the moment—the candid, the unrepeatable, the emotionally true. I document love in its rawest forms, from Brooklyn rooftops to Thai beaches to barns full of strangers. Because at the heart of it all, what I’m capturing isn’t just weddings—it’s the human experience in motion.
Now I see how powerful it is to be photographing weddings during this moment in history. I’m not just capturing beautiful images—I’m telling stories that weren’t always allowed to exist in the open. Wedding photography became a vessel for visibility, justice, and storytelling—a chance to be exactly who I am: an artist, a witness, and an advocate.
This is why I do what I do.
Not because I’m gay.
Not because I’ve always dreamed of a wedding.
But because documenting love in all its complexity gives me a platform to advocate, reflect, and spark conversation.
What started as a way to pay the bills became a calling. And through that, I’ve discovered that wedding photography isn’t just about celebration—it can be a vessel for visibility, justice, and storytelling. It’s a chance to be exactly who I am: an artist, a witness, and an advocate.
The passage of the New York Marriage Amendment was—and remains—a monumental step forward. For many LGBTQ couples, it opened doors they were told would never exist. It’s emotional. It’s powerful. It brings tears to my eyes to know the next generation will grow up in a more just world.
But progress is not perfection.
Even now, marriage equality is still not fully realized across the globe, or even federally in every sense here in the U.S. Same-sex couples may still be denied essential federal benefits—like joint tax filing, retirement access, or full protection of shared assets.
The fight is not over.
The Fight Continues
The passage of the New York Marriage Amendment was—and remains—a monumental step forward. But progress is not perfection. Even now, marriage equality is still not fully realized across the globe. The fight is not over.
As I move forward in this industry, I do so with hope: that the concept of marriage continues to evolve, that traditions become more inclusive, and that this work remains a space where truth, beauty, and justice can intersect.
Your Story Matters
So if you’re here because you’re planning your wedding—welcome. Whether you’re gay, straight, trans, or still figuring it out—I want to tell your story. Because love, in all its forms, deserves to be documented with care, pride, and realness.
I built my business on word-of-mouth. My very first wedding? I booked it while holding a cardboard sign at the 2010 Pride Parade that read: “Gay Wedding Photographer.”
If you connect with this story, please—share it. Recommend me. Tell a friend. Because this isn’t just a job. It’s a movement, a message, and a way of being seen.
Erica, this is an amazing read and an even better story. I am happy you’ve found “a place” and a deeper connection to wedding photography. I couldn’t agree more with the profound impact the amendment will have in shaping the future and understanding of a wedding. Here’s to a successful career and many, many more years of happiness. All the best, my friend.
Just catching up on comments and saw this! Thanks so much Jashim!
So proud of you, Erica. xoxo
Great article Erica, great insight to gay weddings. I’m meeting my first gay couple as a straight photographer this week. As a straight man comfortable with gay friends I still worry about potential different expectations, but you’ve put these to bed. It’s 2 guys in love
Paul
Thanks Paul! Best wishes.
Love this blog post!!! I’m also a gay wedding photographer, I’m 22. I definitely agree with you on the part about later generations are lucky to be living in a more just world. I’m just really glad it’s moving in the right direction and more people are becoming accepted of gay marriage. Rock on world, and best wishes to you, Erica!
I am also a wedding photographer and would like to say thank you for your post!
What an awesome post, Erica. My wife rarely reads to the end of any article she finds on the web. She sent me a message this morning going on and on about your blogpost … and about how she read to the end. I knew it had to be special.
We’re lesbian wedding photographers, too, and we look forward to the day when same-sex weddings are legal in every state, including Georgia. In the meantime, we continue to fight the battle. Most recently as a part of the call for marriage equality at our incredibly liberal Baptist Church. (Yes, I said Baptist!)
Enjoy all your weddings and if when we’re in New York again, we’ll look you up.